Two and a Half Men (2003)


Genre: Comedy , Romance

Plot: A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house. A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house. Read More



Episode 15: Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2
Episode 14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Episode 13: Boompa Loved His Hookers
Episode 12: A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Episode 11: For Whom the Booty Calls
Episode 10: Here I Come, Pants!
Episode 9: Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Episode 8: Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Episode 7: Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Episode 6: Alan Shot a Little Girl
Episode 5: Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Episode 4: Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Episode 3: Glamping in a Yurt
Episode 2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Episode 1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Episode 22: Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Episode 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Episode 20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Episode 19: Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Episode 18: West Side Story
Episode 17: Welcome Home, Jake
Episode 16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Episode 15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Episode 14: Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Episode 13: Bite Me, Supreme Court
Episode 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Episode 11: Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Episode 10: On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Episode 9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Episode 8: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Episode 7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Episode 6: Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Episode 5: Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Episode 4: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Episode 3: This Unblessed Biscuit
Episode 2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Episode 1: Nangnangnangnang
Episode 23: Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Episode 22: My Bodacious Vidalia
Episode 21: Another Night with Neil Diamond
Episode 20: Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Episode 19: Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Episode 18: The 9:04 from Pemberton
Episode 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Episode 16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Episode 15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Episode 14: Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Episode 13: Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Episode 12: Welcome to Alancrest
Episode 11: Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Episode 10: One Nut Johnson
Episode 9: I Scream When I Pee
Episode 8: Something My Gynecologist Said
Episode 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Episode 6: Ferrets, Attack!
Episode 5: That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Episode 4: You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Episode 3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Episode 2: A Big Bag of Dog
Episode 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Episode 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Episode 23: The Straw in My Donut Hole
Episode 22: Why We Gave Up Women
Episode 21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Episode 20: Grandma's Pie
Episode 19: Palmdale, Ech
Episode 18: The War Against Gingivitis
Episode 17: Not in My Mouth!
Episode 16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Episode 15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Episode 14: A Possum on Chemo
Episode 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Episode 12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Episode 11: What a Lovely Landing Strip
Episode 10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Episode 9: Frodo's Headshots
Episode 8: Thank You for the Intercourse
Episode 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Episode 6: The Squat and the Hover
Episode 5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Episode 4: Nine Magic Fingers
Episode 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Episode 2: People Who Love Peepholes
Episode 1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Episode 16: That Darn Priest
Episode 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Episode 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Episode 13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Episode 12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Episode 11: Dead from the Waist Down
Episode 10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Episode 9: A Good Time in Central Africa
Episode 8: Springtime on a Stick
Episode 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Episode 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Episode 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Episode 4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Episode 3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Episode 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Episode 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Episode 22: This Is Not Gonna End Well
Episode 21: Gumby with a Pokey
Episode 20: I Called Him Magoo
Episode 19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave
Episode 18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Episode 17: I Found Your Moustache
Episode 16: Tinkle Like a Princess
Episode 15: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Episode 14: Crude and Uncalled For
Episode 13: Yay, No Polyps
Episode 12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Episode 11: Warning, It's Dirty
Episode 10: That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
Episode 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Episode 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Episode 7: Untainted by Filth
Episode 6: Give Me Your Thumb
Episode 5: For the Sake of the Child
Episode 4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Episode 3: Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Episode 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Episode 1: 818-jklpuzo
Episode 24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Episode 23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Episode 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Episode 21: Above Exalted Cyclops
Episode 20: Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Episode 19: The Two Finger Rule
Episode 18: My Son's Enormous Head
Episode 17: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Episode 16: She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Episode 15: I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Episode 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Episode 13: I Think You Offended Don
Episode 12: Thank God for Scoliosis
Episode 11: The Devil's Lube
Episode 10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Episode 9: The Mooch at the Boo
Episode 8: Pinocchio's Mouth
Episode 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Episode 6: It's Always Nazi Week
Episode 5: A Jock Strap in Hell
Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Episode 3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Episode 2: Pie Hole, Herb
Episode 1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper
Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk
Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer
Episode 16: Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction
Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time
Episode 13: The Soil is Moist
Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Episode 11: Meander to Your Dander
Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia
Episode 9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Episode 7: Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Episode 4: City of Great Racks
Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon
Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato
Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Episode 21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Episode 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll
Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville
Episode 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie
Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too
Episode 15: My Damn Stalker
Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Episode 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana
Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol
Episode 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Episode 8: Release the Dogs
Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity
Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Episode 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey
Episode 3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Episode 2: Who's Vod Kanockers
Episode 1: Working for Caligula
Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie
Episode 22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens
Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Episode 19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Episode 16: Ergo, the Booty Call
Episode 15: My Tongue Is Meat
Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Episode 13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Episode 12: That Special Tug
Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned
Episode 10: Something Salted and Twisted
Episode 9: Madame and Her Special Friend
Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do
Episode 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Episode 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One
Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky
Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Episode 24: Does This Smell Funny to You
Episode 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Episode 19: A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Episode 18: It Was Mame, Mom
Episode 17: Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand
Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Episode 13: Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Episode 12: A Lung Full of Alan
Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater
Episode 9: Yes, Monsignor
Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic
Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra
Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea
Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins
Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger
Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo
Episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick
Episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan
Episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheromones
Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving
Episode 9: Phase One, Complete
Episode 8: Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards
Episode 1: Pilot